Starbucks Is Pushing Its "Gay Agenda" On You!!!

(FoxNews) – Starbuck’s newest holiday cups are getting second looks after a Buzzfeed article suggested that they might be “gay.” The cups feature a busy print of holiday favorites like mittens, presents and Christmas trees, and above the logo, two unseen people are holding hands. Since the cups launched in October, however, people have taken to Twitter with hypotheses that the androgynous hands may belong to a pair of lesbians. The idea may have sprung up from a video campaign Starbucks launched, advertising the return of the holiday cups. In the video, two women are seen standing at a table holding hands. The campaign claims, “The holidays mean something different for everyone.”

Next time you’re sipping your triple, venti, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato with extra caramel swirl and wondering, “Does this make me gay,” I’ve got some bad news: sure does, you big queen!

It’s not your fault though, you didn’t decide to become gay like everyone else does, Starbucks made you gay by pushing their gay agenda on you. Using cartoon hands that are clearly the same hands as the cartoon lesbians in the commercial since they have the EXACT same shirts on

Starbucks has pushed its gay agenda on you and turned you homosexual. Like a Russian sleeper cell, you’ve been brainwashed and manipulated through cartoon, Christmas imagery to like members of your own sex. Every time you see a misspelled name on a coffee cup you’ll have no choice but to place the nearest penis in your mouth.

It doesn’t matter if you were a totally normal homophobe before, Starbucks has normalized same sex relationships and now you’re ok with them. It happened right under your nose every time you sipped that delicious caffeine, and you were none the wiser.

Hope you wake up Christmas morning and find that big dick under your Christmas tree that Starbucks convinced you, you wanted.